It is quite evident that all women at some point in their life have faked an orgasm and many even admit that they faked it even 100% of the time. Even if you go through some online surveys you will find that a vast majority of women have faked an orgasm at some point and it is quite messed up for both men and women that women feel the need to fake it.
For the study – published in the Nov. issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior – researchers surveyed 453 heterosexual women in the Southeastern U.S. who were in long-term relationships. The researchers found that 54 percent of the women admitted to faking an orgasm. A closer look showed women who thought their partner might stray were more likely to report faking. What’s more, these women were more likely to engage in other “mate-retention” behaviors, like dressing to please or keeping tabs on their partners when they’re apart.
This is the reason that we need to talk about it for changing it. So let’s get this started
Why do women fake orgasms?
It feels like there are two main reasons that women fake orgasms
- To make her partner happy, satisfied, and to get a feeling that he is satisfied which makes his ego satisfied.
- She doesn’t know about orgasm or they have never experienced it in their lives and she doesn’t know what it takes to go there so she fakes it.
Usually, good sex is typically described by men in terms of the quality of their orgasm, while for women, it’s defined as the absence of pain. To understand why women routinely fake sexual pleasure, we need to first acknowledge that we’ve created a culture that minimizes and dismisses female pain. From their first sexual experience, young women are told to expect discomfort as a part of sex that losing their virginity will probably hurt.
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Men like to argue lack of female sexual pleasure stems from biology; that women are just not wired to enjoy it as men do. This is embedded in the tired idea women exchange sex for fidelity rather than, you know, actual enjoyment. But there’s little scientific backing to this theory. While most women take up to 20 minutes to climax during sex, when they masturbate, it’s just four — the same amount of time it takes men.
Indeed, the issue isn’t that women are incapable of enjoying sex, it’s that women are been taught to prioritize the male orgasm at all costs.
Most people find it difficult to talk about sex; it can be an awkward and sensitive topic that can raise feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, or criticism. There is also the fear of hurting each other’s feelings. We are led to believe sex is something that comes naturally and we should be instinctively good at it, which just isn’t true.
So, what makes it easier for women to have an orgasm with a partner? A woman who is comfortable touching her own body is more likely to know what feels good for her. If she knows how to have an orgasm on her own, she can show her partner what to do, where, and how to stimulate her – good foreplay is very important. Men should keep in mind that it’s much easier for a male to climax than a female.
But faking isn’t always bad for your sex life. Depending on a woman’s motivation, pretending to orgasm can increase her sexual satisfaction, according to research by Erin B. Cooper, a clinical psychology doctoral student at Temple University. She presented the research at the American Psychological Association’s 2010 Annual Convention in San Diego. She concluded: “Some women may ‘fake it till they make it, which makes sense – if faking an orgasm gets your partner more excited, it may arouse you enough to get to the ‘finish line’.”
But if you think that only women fake orgasms, think again. Some men are worried that they take too long, especially with a new partner, and fake ejaculation to speed it up – not too difficult to do when using a condom. There are many reasons a man has delayed ejaculation or can’t ejaculate at all: exhaustion, stress, alcohol, medication, illicit drugs, etc. And performance anxiety also often plays a big part.
People can’t expect their partner to be a mind reader; they should show their partner what they need to achieve an orgasm. The most important thing is to communicate and focus on each other’s pleasure and realize that it is not always necessary for sex to end with the “elusive” orgasm!