Usually, When a marriage is new and thriving, it is easy to assume that things will always be as good as they are. You assume that you and your spouse will always have a sexual desire for each other and always light your bedroom on fireworks every day. However, as you settle into your married life and start to build a family, sometimes the spark that once existed starts to dim, and eventually dies off. Then may come a point in your marriage when you notice that you aren’t having as much sex as you used to.
High stress levels, mismatched libidos, mental health problems that impair your self-esteem or sex desire, and an inability to communicate about sex freely are some of the causes that contribute to a lack of intimacy. Stress levels are likely to fluctuate throughout a marriage, but sometimes stress levels can cause significantly lower sex drive which can lead to a sexless marriage
While overcoming these causes to a sexless marriage can be difficult, it’s important to note that it is possible to reintroduce intimacy to your marriage… even if it’s been a while. Even if your bodies are changing and you have to relearn intimacy with your partner. A lot of people stay in sexless marriages, despite how horrible and unfulfilling they are, out of a duty to their children, a resistance to change, or just a fear that there is nothing better out there. While being in a sexless marriage might feel heroic or unselfish or praiseworthy, it is actually just bad for everyone involved. Instead of being miserable, you should try and take active steps towards introducing love and sex back into your marriage.
We are here to help you out in repairing your sexless marriage. Here are the tips to fix it
Communication and expressing your wants and needs
Communication is the most important thing in marriage. It’s important to communicate about every aspect of your marriage from your financial status, to your emotions, to your sexual wants and needs. If you want to successfully get out of a sexless marriage, and reintroduce intimacy, you and your partner will have to talk about your wants and needs both inside and outside of the bedroom.
You don’t want to turn this into an argument because it will further push your spouse away. But you’ll want to approach the topic in a loving and caring way. Yes, this will feel a little awkward, but it’s important to let your spouse know that this is a concern that you have.
Understand each other’s sexual needs
As you grow older, sexual needs change. It is important to take the time to learn what your spouse prefers and what they no longer like to be able to make them interested in sex again. This goes back to communicating your needs to your spouse. You also need to tell them when you are stressed or worried. By addressing these underlying issues and understanding their sexual needs, you are both guaranteed satisfaction in the bedroom.
Stop watching porn
Pornography has been found to have a negative effect on human psychology. In fact, there are some men who can’t get an erection with their partner until they first watch porn. Taking porn out of your lives would make you want to have sex with each other more.
Explore other ways to be intimate
While sex does play a huge role in the intimacy aspect of marriage, it is not the only form of intimacy out there. Going from a sexless marriage to having sex on a regular basis is not going to happen overnight, especially if you and your partner are not being intimate in other ways. Even if you are being sexually intimate, it’s also important to explore other ways to be intimate. Focusing on emotional intimacy is a super important exercise if you are serious about rekindling the love in your marriage.
While exploring emotional intimacy, it’s important to assess where your levels of trust and open communication are and move forward to improve these aspects of your relationship. In addition to emotional intimacy, it’s important to explore physical intimacy aside from sex. Things like hugging, kissing, cuddling and massage can help you establish and/or re-establish physical closeness with your partner.
Deal with your underlying problems
As sexlessness is often a result of stress, mental health issues and differences in libido can all be causes of the sexlessness in a marriage. If you know that one of these things is an underlying problem in your marriage, then you will need to work to address it in order for things to change. Identifying the problems and coming up with solutions will require a lot of open communication between you and your partner.
As much as we all want to deal with our problems on our own, sometimes it really is best to defer to a professional. Whether you decide to tackle your underlying problems on your own or turn to a specialist, your intimacy problems won’t go away until you address the root cause.
The bottom line is that Sex can serve different purposes, whether it’s a form of bonding, a type of expression, connection, intimacy, and feeling love and desire. If a partner is connecting these feelings to the act of physical sex, the absence of it might greatly affect the relationship. This is why it’s always important to have open communication with each other to make sure you’re on the same page.